Dads and AP

In celebration of Fathers' Day tomorrow, and as a thank you to my husband S for agreeing to appear on Mornings@ANC yesterday, this is my post on Dads and AP.


As most of us have probably experienced growing up, our Dads have generally been just providers of the house. Providers of money, in particular. I wasn't close to my own Dad while growing up. In the house, he was like the Supreme Court (like when my Mom and I needed a tie breaker). My Mom was the one who did *everything else* at home. Naturally, I was closer to her.


However, in this day and age, we see so many differences in the home setting. A lot more women/moms have gone to work, while a lot of men/dads have chosen to be more active in the home and with their children. And this is a great thing! Now, parenting is a bit more equal than it was years ago.

In our own family, I am so happy that S participates in his role as Dad, especially since we have two boys. I've generally taken the lead about how I want to raise the boys, and I'm just absolutely thankful that we're on the same page on this!


In the beginning, some guys might find it strange how they can AP when they have a newborn and a wife who's decided to breastfeed. Believe me, there are so many other ways! Look! 


They can play with their newborns -- 

(from http://heidihope.blogspot.com)

(from http://www.johastingsphotography.co.uk)

(from http://heartprintphotography.com)

They can sleep with their newborns -- 

(from http://greenbabyguide.com)

(from http://www.soulprintsphotography.com/)

And this is aside from changing diapers, washing them, and sunning them! Skin-to-skin bonding is not only for mom and baby. Even dads, so it would be great if you new dads do that!

It is much easier when the children are bigger. In our family, here are some ways we practice AP:

• S also wore K when he was smaller. So it'll be great if you can wear your babies! Or carry them at least :)
• We co-sleep! Yes, until now! Both boys co-slept with us till they were around 3 or 4. They've since been moved out into their own beds during the weekdays but on weekends, it's one big slumber party for all of us. K sometimes still gets up in the middle of the night and sneaks into our bed.
• We practice positive discipline. We talk to the child and make them understand what actions they did wrong and how they should correct these. We constantly remind them so they remember. 
• Consistency in all things. Now this is super important. The rules we have with our kids are consistent, which is why a lot of thought is always put into making new rules, so that we don't need to change them. Even in caregivers. We were lucky because they had one yaya who was with them since. No yaya issues here!

While in the beginning, practicing AP is a conscious decision and something you need to think about everytime something comes up with your child, it becomes a habit when done all the time. And one big myth is that "working parents can't practice AP". They definitely can. Again, its something you choose to do.

To all the dads out there, Happy Fathers' Day! Especially to my Dad, in whose quiet ways I have learned to be who I am, and to S, thanks for being dad to my kids, and husband to me. Love you both!